


Driver's Ed

by plaguehaver



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angus calls Taako dad, Angus lives with Taako and Krav, Canon Compliant, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Driving, Driving Lessons, Gen, I just love them, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Post-Canon, Teen Ango, There's cars because I said so, post-Story and Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 21:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16584434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaguehaver/pseuds/plaguehaver
Summary: Five years after the day of Story and Song, Angus McDonald lives with Taako and Kravitz. What's a better gift to a soon-to-be sixteen year-old than driving lessons? And who better to give those lessons than an ex-battle wagon racer?





	Driver's Ed

**Author's Note:**

> Glossary:
> 
> Motor wagon: car  
> Battle wagon: Cool Car

Kravitz tore a rift in space and stepped into the living room he shared with Taako. His day at work had been tiring, and his inconsistent schedule was disorienting for the whole family, but they were more or less used to it by now. It was five years after the day of Story and Song, and Kravitz and Taako, despite their hectic, unusual lives, had settled into a peaceful domestic routine. Kravitz’s feet sank into the plush carpet and a warm, sticky smell wafted in from the kitchen.

“I smell pancakes,” Kravitz announced as he closed the rift and waltzed into the kitchen. Taako leaned against the counter in a long shirt and a pair of soft pajama pants, spatula in hand. It was still early, the first rays of sunlight just beginning to drift in through the windows, casting everything in a soft golden light. Upon seeing his boyfriend, Taako smiled and ran his free hand through his messy bleach-blond hair.

“You smelled correctly,” he replied. Kravitz slipped an arm around his waist and Taako stood on his tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. He pulled away just a little bit to flip the pancakes on the griddle. “Chocolate-chip, served up piping hot.”

“Oh good, my favorite.” Kravitz drifted off to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup and then sat down at the table.

“Liar,” Taako said, pointing the spatula at him. “Last week you said blueberry was your favorite.”

Kravitz shrugs with a smile. “I guess everything you cook is just my favorite.” Taako clutched his chest dramatically and went “uuugggghhhh.”

“Ugh, you got me with that one, old man.”

From the floor above them, the two men heard rapid footsteps. Someone rushed down the stairs muttering, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuck…”

“Language!” Taako yelled, and the muttering changed to, “Frick, frick, frick, frick…”

Angus McDonald, Teenage Detective, hopped down the last few stairs and rushed past the kitchen yelling, “Hi Dad, bye Dad, gotta go, I’ll see you later, bye!” He threw his messenger bag and Taako stopped him just as he was about to run out the door.

“Woah woah, slow your roll there, partner. Where’s the fire, Angus?”

Angus turned around and ran a hand through his dark curls. “I really don’t have time to talk right now, my alarm didn’t go off and I’m a whole hour late to school, I _really_ gotta go, bye!” Angus turned to leave again, and Taako grabbed him by the shoulder.

“Did you change your clock?”

Angus froze and looked back at him. “Did I what?”

“Did you change your clock. It’s daylight savings time, genius.” Angus glanced over

Taako’s shoulder to check the clock over the oven. It wasn’t 7:15, it was 6:15.

“Oh,” he said, deflated. “Okay, yeah, that’s right.” Taako patted him on the back.

“Well, since you’re awake, come sit down. Krav’s home, and I made some pancakes. Take some time to relax for once in your life, Ango.” Angus rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.

“Might as well.”

“That’s the spirit, kid!” Taako led him back into the kitchen and used his spatula to smack at Kravitz, who was trying to get at the stack of finished pancakes. “No, bad reaper! Go sit at the table.” Kravitz pretended to be scolded and sat down as Taako served everyone a hearty stack of the perfectly-cooked breakfast discs. When he turned around, he watched Angus take a mug out of the cabinet and pour himself a cup of coffee.

“Hey, since when do we in this house allow babies to drink coffee? You’ll be up all night, Angus.”

“Well, for one,” he said, not stopping what he was doing. “I’m not a baby. And two, I drink coffee all the time. This ain’t no thing.”

“You know, he’s right, Taako.” He turned back to Kravitz, whose mouth was already full of pancake. “I mean, Angus is already...how old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

“He’s already fifteen. I think the kid can handle a little caffeine.” Taako shook his head.

“Don’t take his side! If we give him this, he’ll just keep taking and taking. First he’s drinking coffee and next thing you know, he’s coming home drunk! It’ll be like that Candlenights when he was twelve all over again.”

“How was I supposed to know that Aunt Lup spiked the punch?” Angus argued.

“Okay, that _was_ a little bit my fault for trusting Lup with any sort of beverage. You win this time, _boy detective_.” Taako sat down at the table next to Kravitz, taking a bite of his own breakfast. “You can have the coffee, but if I ever smell alcohol on your breath again, you’re grounded until you die.”

Angus laughed as he sat down with them. “You know Neverwinter’s legal drinking age is sixteen, right?”

Taako rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

The three sat there in the warm kitchen, eating and chatting idly until they were scraping the last of the syrup off their plates and it was almost time for Angus to head out. The table fell into relative silence and Angus bit his lip nervously.

“Um, Dads, I’ve been thinking…”

Taako scoffed. “That’s dangerous.”

“And I was wondering...I’m, you guys know I’m turning sixteen in a few months?”

“Oh, is that right?” Taako asked, feigning ignorance, even though he had the date marked on every calendar in the house and had been fussing over surprise party plans for at least a month already.

“Yeah, and my jobs have been taking me into the city a lot more lately...and I was wondering if maybe one of you would be possibly be able to maybe teach me how to drive?”

Taako and Kravitz looked at each other.

Taako cleared his throat. “I’m not saying no, but...what do you need to know how to drive for, pumpkin?”

“Well,” Angus looked sheepish now. “I’ve had a lot of jobs in Neverwinter and Goldcliff lately, and the roads there are mostly used for the motor wagons now, and I just thought that it would make it easier for me to get to school, or to get around while I’m in the city and stuff.”

“Um, I see where you’re coming from for sure. Hows about Kravitz and I will talk about it, and get back to you. Is that okay?”

Angus sighed. “we’ll talk about it” almost always meant no. “Yeah, that’s fine,” he said.

“Great,” Taako replied, ruffling his hair. “Now you better get going or you’ll be late to class for real. Your lunch is in the fridge.”

“You know you really don’t have to pack me a lunch, they have a cafeteria there.”

“Like I’m ever letting any child of mine eat from the hand of that bastard Lucas Miller.”

“He’s not the one actually serving the food-”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re not slobs in this house. Now get going, go on, shoo!” Taako shoved the paper bag into Angus’s hand and then pushed him out the door. Once he was sure Angus had left, he walked back to the kitchen where Kravitz was beginning to clean up. They shared a knowing look, and almost perfectly in sync, they both said, “I have no fucking idea how to drive.”

“Yeah, that figures.” Taako said. “I’m basically an alien, and you’ve been dead for centuries.”

“Do you think they have a driver’s ed class at Lucas’s school?”

Taako crossed his arms. “Even if they did, I wouldn’t let Ango take it.” He sighed dramatically and glanced over at his stone of farspeech.

“Well,” he said. “Looks like I’m going to have to call in a favor.”

* * *

A week or so later, Taako had demanded that Angus take Saturday off, claiming that he had a surprise. When the surprise turned out to be a blindfold, he was more than a little bit surprised.

“The surprise isn’t the blindfold,” Taako said.

“Well, yeah, I get that. But why do I have to be blindfolded in the first place? I know that we’re on a train, so if the train is the surprise, that’s ruined too.”

“Gods, take a break from the mystery solving for five seconds, kid. If you find out where we’re headed, it’ll ruins the surprise. Just clear your brain and I promise you won’t be disappointed. We’re almost there.” Not long after this conversation happened, the train stopped and Taako carefully lead him off, linking elbows with him and leading him away from the station. The air is warm here, but it’s summer, and it would be warm anywhere. Try all he might, Angus couldn’t deduce where Taako had taken him. Well, he figured that at least it was good practice in the case that he ever got kidnapped.

“Here we are- wait. What are you doing here?” Angus tried to lift up a corner of the blindfold, but Taako noticed and told him to keep it on. “Stay right here,” he said, letting go of Angus’s arm. “Don’t move for one sec, I’ll be right back.

Angus stood stock-still, straining to hear snatches of Taako’s conversation.

“What happened to…”

“...busy, something came up.”

“She said that…”

“She told me to…”

“...best idea…”

“...can leave if you want me to…”

“...okay, just…”

He heard Taako walk back over.

“Alright! On the count of three, you can take your blindfold off. One, two, three!” Angus pushed the piece of cloth up onto his head and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light. In front of him stood a tall, slim woman and behind her stood a long, sleek black battle wagon.

“Surprise!” Taako yelled, grabbing his shoulders. “I got you driving lessons!”

“Really?” Angus spun around to look at Taako. “I thought you weren’t going to let me.”

“Pshh,” he said, waving his hand back and forth. “Every little boy needs to know how to drive, that’s what I say.”

“But, why didn’t you just teach me?”

“Uhm, because Miss Sloane here is a professional, and besides, we don’t have a motor wagon at home, now do we?” Angus nodded. He observed the woman named Sloane. She had long, dark brown hair that fell all the way to her waist. She was wearing a black button up, leather pants, and knee-high boots. Her eyes and skin, though were unusual. Her irises were as dark as charcoal, sharp and calculating as she looked Angus over, but the scleras were a bright yellow. Sloane’s skin looked almost like it was made out of tree bark, and upon closer inspection, her hair was speckled with tiny-pink blossoms.

“I believe we’ve met before,” she said, her voice low and smooth. When he heard her speak, he finally realized where he had seen her. It had been years ago, on a job in Goldcliff that had required a little help from an old friend of Taako’s: Lieutenant Hurley. Their interaction was brief, but Angus could remember another druid hanging around her apartment.

“Of course! It’s very nice to see you again, Ms. Sloane,” Angus said as he shook her hand.

“Actually,” Sloane said. “It’s Mrs. Sloane now.” She held up a hand, showing the boys an ornately-crafted gold ring on her ring finger.

“Oh, congratulations!”

“Yeah,” Taako interjected. “I actually called up _Mrs. Hurley_ to give you some driving lessons, but I guess she’s too much of a hotshot racer for old Taako now.” Sloane elbowed him and he pretended to be hurt.

“You ready to go, little man?” Sloane gestured to the battle wagon behind her and Angus nodded eagerly. They all settled in, Angus in the driver’s seat, Sloane in the passenger seat, and Taako crammed into the tiny compartment in the back.

“Uh,” Taako said, viewing the wide array of switches and knobs laid out over the dashboard. “Are you sure that this thing is safe? It’s not exactly a beginner vehicle.”

“Don’t worry, Taako. I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous.”

“Really? Because last time I saw you in one of these, you were flying off a cliff.” Angus’s eyes widened a bit, and his grip on the steering wheel became a little tighter.

“Don’t worry, Angus, he’s exaggerating.”

“No I’m not.”

“Okay, he’s not, but that was something completely different. I think we were all much different people back then. But I swear, this is completely safe. Now, Angus, the first thing you’re going to want to do is put your foot on the left side pedal, shift into drive, and then put your foot on the right side pedal.” Angus bit his lip, following her instructions carefully. The car jerked forwards and Angus beamed.

"I did it!"

“You did, now slowly press down on the gas, bring it up to thirty.” Angus obeyed, and soon enough, they seemed to be flying through the desert.

“I’m driving!”

“Oh my gods,” Taako muttered from the backseat. “My boy is _driving_!” His hand was wrapped around the overhead handle in a white-knuckled grip, but he was smiling all the while.

“Want to go faster?” Sloane asked with a smile.

“Yes!” Angus grinned.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea-” Taako was cut off by the sound of the engine revving as Angus stepped on the gas. The needle on the speedometer jumped up to fifty, then sixty, then sixty-five. In retrospect, Taako realized that it was probably a bad idea to hire a battle wagon _racer_ to teach his kid how to drive.

“Okay, Angus,” Sloane said. “See that rusty railroad sign down there? Hit this switch to put your signal on, go left, and then make a u-turn around that tree.” As they approached the signpost, Angus flipped the switch, but it must’ve been the wrong one because deafeningly loud radio static blared through the wagon’s speakers. Angus hit the turn _hard_ and they careened around the post, bumping over the abandoned railroad tracks that laid there.

Everyone in the car jumped at the sound, and Sloane turned off the radio. “Wrong switch, kid.”

“I think you’re supposed to _slow down_ on turns, sweetie,” Taako suggested.

“Yeah,” Sloane scoffed. “If you’re a _nerd_. Are you a nerd, Angus?”

“I mean, kind of.”

“Okay the right answer was no. Anyways, do a u-turn right up here.”

“Should I slow down?”

“Nah.” And Angus didn’t. The centripetal force of the turn enough to knock Taako’s hat completely off his head.

“Good Fantasy Jesus, please help me,” Taako muttered, but went ignored.

Soon enough, Sloane was directing him into the city. Taako was terrified. She seemed completely unfazed as Angus hit a speed bump at forty miles per hour, drove straight over the center of a roundabout, and nearly hit an old lady walking her dog. And all of that was all just in the first ten minutes.

“Sloane, don’t you think that Angus has maybe had enough driving today?” Taako asked. Angus made a left turn and the back left tire scraped its way over the median. Sloane didn’t even care.

“What do you mean? He’s doing great. Now take this right here.” Angus did, but didn’t stop at the next stop sign and almost t-boned a minivan, jerking the wheel to the right and just barely missing them.

“Ohmygods, I’m so sorry, Mrs. Sloane.”

“Don’t worry about it kid, that wasn’t even that bad. Now head into the warehouse district back that way.” The sun was beginning to set in Goldcliff and Taako was praying that she’d just let them off of the hook before it got completely dark.

“Oh look,” Sloane said, pointing out the window. The district was full of rows upon rows of identical warehouses, but a few of them had garage doors on them and were lit from the inside. Outside of them were a few assorted people working on motor wagons and battle wagons alike.

“That’s one of Hurley’s rival racing teams. Want to see something fun we do whenever she’s driving?”

“Sure,” Angus said.

“No,” Taako said at the same time.

Sloane rolled down her window and unbuckled her seatbelt. She pointed at a bright yellow switch on the dashboard and said, “Flip this when I give you the signal.” And before either of them could say anything, she was hoisting herself out of the open window and on top of the car. She found her balance and stood up, yelling, “Now!”

Angus flipped the switch and Taako looked out the window to see streams of golden sparks shooting out the back of the battle wagon. Sloane whooped and hollered. She raised up both arms and gave two fat middle fingers, yelling ridiculously well-crafted and personal insults at the rival team as she passed them. They yelled right back at her, throwing tools and rocks in retaliation, all of which she dodged easily. Once they were too far to hear each other, Sloane climbed back into the car and they laughed and laughed and laughed. Angus, amazed at Sloane’s pure power and Taako just glad that she lived. They all caught their breath and looked out through the windshield.

“Oh, fuck.” Sloane said clearly. Right in front of them, the world seemed to cut off, giving way to an endless red sky painted by the setting sun. Right in front of them was the edge of a cliff. “Brake, brake, brake, brakebrakebrakebrakebrake!” Angus _slammed_ on the brake pedal, jerking the wheel to the left as hard as he could. The battle wagon spun around, kicking up clouds of dust as they screeched to a halt. Taako felt the back wheel slide off the edge of the cliff and they all held their breath as the wagon stopped. Angus slowly pressed down on the gas, bringing them back onto land and putting the wagon into park.

“Sloane, would you _please_ take us back to the Goldcliff train station? We really don’t need anymore dead people to get yote over that cliff.”

“What?” Angus asked.

“Nothing. Now get back here with me.” Angus got out of the driver’s seat and climbed into the back with Taako, who pulled him into a too-tight hug.

“Never fucking do that again, hear me?”

Angus laughed uneasily. “Trust me, I won’t.”

Sloane drove them back to the train station and they sighed in relief as they got back onto regular, unmoving ground.

“I’m sorry about all that Taako.”

“Forget about it, it’s in the past. Just _please_ get Hurley out here next time?”

She smiled apologetically. “Sure thing.”

Angus and a very exhausted Taako rode the train back home and Taako passed out on the couch while Angus recounted his exciting driving experience to Kravitz. From then on, Saturdays were devoted to driving lessons with the much more responsible Hurley. Slowly but surely, Angus improved until he was driving through the streets of Goldcliff with no problem. Two months later, Angus woke up to Taako throwing that same black blindfold at him.

“Put it on, I got another surprise for you, kid.”

“Good morning to you too, Dad,” Angus said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “You don’t need to blindfold me, I know we’re going to Goldcliff.” Taako shook his head.

“Nope, no Goldcliff today. Old Taako’s got a brand-new surprise on the agenda. Now put it on.” Angus obliged and Taako led him, still in his pajamas, downstairs and out the front door.

“Okay, same deal. Count of three, rip it off. One, two, three!” Angus pulled the blindfold down around his neck and what he saw he almost couldn’t comprehend. A shiny new dark blue motor wagon. It was low to the ground, and had enough room for six people. Angus knew because he had been in it before.

“Why is Mrs. Hurley’s motor wagon here?” He asked.

“Funny thing is,” Taako said. “It’s not actually Mrs. Hurley’s wagon. I had her working on it for me because there’s this special little boy who’s about to be sixteen and is gonna need to get around all those big cities by himself. What do you think, Mr. Detective? Know anyone who fits that description?” Angus looked back at the motor wagon and then back at Taako.

“No.”

Taako smirked and held out a fist. He opened his hand and out came a shiny silver key dangling from a key ring.

“Yep.”

“No way! Are you serious?”

“As the Fantasy Black Plague.”

“Oh my gods,” Angus muttered. Taako dropped the key into his hand and he looked at it reverently.

“Well,” Taako asked. “You just gonna stare at it or are you gonna drive the thing? Try it out, my dude.” Angus beamed and gave Taako a crushing hug, lifting him off of his feet. He ran down the porch steps, climbing into the wagon and driving it in circles around the front of the house. He pulled back up in front of Taako, the window rolled down and his hair all messed up.

“This is amazing! Hahaha!” Taako grinned back at him and pretended that there was something in his eye. Angus got out of the car and hugged Taako again.

“Thank you, Dad. I love it.”

Taako sniffed. “You better love it, our insurance costs a billion gold now. Hope you like eating Fantasy Eggos until you move out. Which will be never.” Angus laughed and just hugged him tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I hc Sloane as a Rowdy Chick, sorry that I make the rules.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [@plague-haver](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/plague-haver)


End file.
